Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize