I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
