just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
