wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
