i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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