I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize