Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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