So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
