You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
