# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
