Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
