I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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