So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
