tonight lets celebrate not being married
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
