It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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