Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
