Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She's like a pop up book from hell.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
