I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
porn star boner night. come get it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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