grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
