Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
