they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
