I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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