I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize