well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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