Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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