I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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