Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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