In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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