I just threw up on my dentist
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
