I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
