but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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