Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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