I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i came on her dog
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
