You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
