sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
