A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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