I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
