he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
