If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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