We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
