Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
