Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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