You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
