I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize