Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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