O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
