I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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