drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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