Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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