I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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