Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
