wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
