:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize