Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
