We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
