she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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