East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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