Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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