i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
