I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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