Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize