I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
