Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
