Your tits are I can't wait for
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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