Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
