She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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