Soap is not a condiment
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
