their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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