: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
