I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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