I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
