Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
