All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
