Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
