HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
