I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
