no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize