that's an acceptable place to lick
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
