david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
